Engaged.

This post will be a bit different than my others. Selfishly, I just really love this story and wanted to write it (also narrative isn't my best work, bear with me) and if you're reading this, chances are, at some level, you are curious about it as well (or at least, that's what I'm telling myself to justify the post).Anyways.... A bit of context to start. I have always been the kind of girl who thinks you should date someone for at least a decade before you even begin to think about marriage. I've had friends who've gotten engaged shortly after they started dating and I've always thought- That's awesome for you, and so not for me.Do you know how humbling it is to do something you (in arrogance) thought would never happen to you? It's very humbling, but I'd do this 1,000 times over if it meant getting to marry Jason at the end of it.So, it is with great humility I share the story of how I got engaged to my boyfriend of six months.I knew it was coming. Not like, that day, or even that weekend, but in general, I knew. We had talked and prayed about it, we had discussed some logistics, so I generally knew it was going to happen "sometime before March."Jason had asked me a week in advance to come down to Raleigh the next weekend. To the average person, nbd, but in our relationship that is WAY early to be planning. Naturally, I started overthinking every little thing for the next week. I had theories for dayzzzz (as anyone who saw me that week can probably attest to). I was so freaking nervous- the good kind, but still, nerves are nerves. The last hour of my drive I had so much energy I literally had to belt showtunes to keep me from exploding. This was grade A "omg it might happen I'm freaking out, I'm gonna throw up" anxiety.Then, as I was walking into the house the anxiety disappeared. Any thought of it happening that weekend went away. All of the sudden I just knew it wasn't, that was that. I texted my friend that had taken the brunt of my crazy and told her that I just knew it wasn't this weekend. Life proceeded like normal (well there was a bit of a hiccup Friday night, but another story for another time). At some point in the weekend, he asked if I could stay through Sunday night, since it was MLK day and though he had to go to school for a make-up snow day, we could at least hang a few more hours.Sunday night rolls around, and it's SO FREAKING NORMAL. We make dinner, Caleb leaves to play basketball, Jason and I watch some New Girl, he checks his work email. Literally so average. He nonchalantly asks if we can run to NC State's library to grab a book he's been wanting- its finals week at school and he isn't proctoring any exams, so will need something to do. Honestly, super normal for a English teacher to do, he likes books and things, I don't bat an eye. As we get in the car, I respond to a text about it saying , "not this weekend, I'm in the clear:)" LOL.We get to the library, we start walking up the steps, completely bypassing the circulation desk (not weird, he went to school here, teaches English and knows where the book is I figured). We keep walking, up several flights of stairs. I don't super know what he's doing, but I do notice a pretty rooftop patio and wanted to check it out, I do notice there aren't really books on this level either, but Jason seemed confident and started walking toward the patio too, so I figured maybe he just knew I would like it and wanted to show me. He had gotten quieter and seemed like he was on a mission, but I attributed that to his bad cold and 5 flights of stairs.As we walked through the doors I noticed all these pretty lights and candles (the fake ones for fire safety) and thought "Hm, weird, I wonder why these are here, its super pretty." I looked at J to vocalize these thoughts and as soon as I saw his face it hit me....and made me almost hit him (like a I'm so surprised and I love you punch). I restrained myself and just hugged him really tight and started crying. He said some nice things (which I forgot and he had to re-tell me later), got down on one knee and asked me to be his wife......and me, being well, me...said, "What the f*ck Jason (again, and I can't stress this enough, in the happy way, like out of joy)." Quickly followed by "yes." Honestly, I'm proud I got yes out so quickly. There was a lot of pacing, almost throwing up, hugging, being excited, looking at him in disbelief, and weird dancing that followed. After a few minutes Jason had to remind me to look at the ring, which I had totally forgotten about.Thankfully, after having a similarly odd response to every other moment in our relationship, he was not at all surprised by my reaction. He later told me I did better than he was expecting- so, I mean, everyone pause here to say a quick pray for Jason, who loves a girl that does "better than expected" when she cusses at him after he proposes.It wasn't until we left the library a good bit later and were driving home when I said, "hey, I love you and I'm super excited for this." Which is true, I am super excited for this. I'm sure I will have more thought on engagement and all that it brings, but until then, thanks for tolerating my excitement. I could not have asked for a better way to get engaged. I'm so thankful I didn't know, that it was simple and romantic, and that we got to tell our family together. He also didn't have school the next day, so we got to spend time together while it all sunk in. I probably said 100 times that day "WE'RE GETTING MAAARRRRIIIEEEDDD." I still feel that excited. I can't wait. August 4th- where you at?!? Now, feel free to enjoy these low quality and blurry pictures from said engagement (I was way to excited to care about quality pics):